- Gratitude
This is a small story from my childhood.
Note:
There are two main festivals in Islam, the second one being Qurban Bayramı (AKA Eid al-Adha or Feast of the Sacrifice). As the name suggests, during the festival, livestock is sacrificed. And because the majority of Azerbaijan’s population is Muslim, they celebrate this charitable festival.
When I was little – somewhere between six and nine – my family took me to celebrate this holiday. At first, when I saw goats be-e-e’ing and then getting their heads chopped off, I whined and told my parents I would be converting to Christianity as soon as possible because of this animal cruelty. Long story short, we also “sacrificed” two goats and got their meat cut into cubes.
I vividly recall everything even to this day.
We first gave a piece (fr. “le morceau”) to the man who cut the meat for us. The man’s skin tone was a little dark: one could observe that he constantly works under the sun – one of the more obvious aspects in the workers vs. aristocracy discourse. He also seemed a little tired. He thanked us very much for sharing our meal with him and wished us a great day.
Then, we gave some meat to those less fortunate in the area where we sacrificed the goat (we were far from Baku, the capital city). Skin colors of those less fortunate were also a little dark: one could see they were often outside, earning money for their family – the same way the man above did. They also seemed exhausted, unmoved by the beauties of life. The mothers (I’d say they were about 40) looked at us, thanked us very-very much, wished us God’s mercy, the best, and a good day. The kids seemed grateful, but shy: one could see that in that they bowed their heads slightly and didn’t look into our eyes (I suppose this is a way to show respect and say your thank-you’s in a non-verbal manner), but never backed up their body language with words – and that’s out of shyness.
We then drove back to Baku–the capital of the Republic of Azerbaijan. We saw some beggars, and except for an old man, all were women. We greatly pitied the man – imagine what must have happened to him to end up homeless! All of them were excessively thankful, thanked us a ton of times, wished God would bestow all the beauties of life upon us (and even enumerated them), thanked me (a little kiddo, haha!), asked God to bless me & my parents and keep me safe – one woman even told us her life story!
What broke my heart was that very notion. Imagine you’re a woman in your late 30s with a little child. Your man left you for whichever unjust reason. You’re left alone with a kid, unable to work. And God forbid – God Forbid! – that you are sick or injured! What’s worse – the kid! Can you even imagine the scenario? Well, only then do you understand what a horror it is (literally!) to live such a life. And yet, those courageous women found the strength within themselves to keep living and working hard for themselves and their kids – even if it meant begging!
Imagine being thanked by a kid your age or even younger (that makes it way more painful to perceive, since the smaller a kid is, the more innocent he is) for giving him food, something I had always seen not as a privilege, but as a right: “Hey, I want to eat now. Give me something to eat, please!” Imagine being a mother and hearing your kid say that while being completely helpless to help. That would BREAK my heart; that would drive me insane.
I could never have imagined that a child might be denied the same beauties of life I took for granted. Believe me: I was quite educated, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent for my age – but I could never have predicted that level of suffering. It taught me to be grateful for EVERYTHING I have, even on bad days, even when crying.
Anyway… I hope they are all right now. I don’t just hope–I pray to God that they are thriving, exactly as they hoped for our welfare… Amen.
(Written at 3AM, could contain grammatical mistakes.)
- Nihad Badalov
2025-11-10